Baseball Hell

Update: I now realize the levels don't match up exactly, but my descriptions are in line with Dante's Inferno.

Get them Satan. Get 'em.

I saw this earlier today on Boys of Summer, so I created my own.

Dr. James Andrews
Circle I Limbo

Bud Selig
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind

The New York Mets, The New York Yankees
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow

Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens
Circle IV Rolling Weights

Hank Steinbrenner
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled

River Styx

Joe Morgan, Steve Philips
Circle VI Buried for Eternity

River Phlegyas

U.S. Congress, Donald Fehr
Circle VII Burning Sands

Latin American Scouts
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement

People Who Hate Baseball
Circle IX Frozen in Ice

Design your own hell

Dr. James Andrews didn't do anything wrong (much like the non-baptized in Dante's), but he is a by-product of time, place, and occupation.

Bud Selig, for all his faults, really isn't that bad, but it's his desire for everything to be perfect in baseball and its resulting effects that land him here.

Yankees and gluttons just fit, don't they?

For all the demonizing, Bonds and Clemens aren't the worst people in the world, but they're desire for material wealth and glory, and the illegal means that brought them those, put them in hell.

Hank Steinbrenner and wrathful? A match made in ... hell.

Joe Morgan and Steve Phillips are heretical saying they know anything about baseball (Joe Morgan gets a slightly easier punishment for being a Hall of Famer while Phillips gets an extra flaming bomb up the rear).

U.S. Congress and Donald Fehr have each taken aggressive steps to hold baseball back. Congress for investigating every tiny thing wrong while they could be looking at education, health care, etc. Fehr just tries to make the players greedy while hiding their dirty laundry. They get a boiling blood river for making my blood boil.

The Latin American scouts who have been skimming bonuses from the less-fortunate Dominicans are definitely guilty of fraud and trechery and deserve every whip, human excrement, burning sole, and biting snake they get.

Finally, those who hate baseball deserve the worst fate for not attempting to understand, comprehend, enjoy, relish in, and lavish the best game on Earth. I hope Satan chews on them for all eternity.