Why the Cubs Won't Win

Gene Wojciechowski, who I like to read, just wrote an article about why the Cubs will win, so I decided to write one against that because I don't really like the Cubs (not really sure why but it feels good). Anyway, he (let's call him GW because typing his name repeatedly is kinda hard) gave us ten reasons, so I'll give you eleven. This should be fun.

1. The Billy Goat Curse
They shouldn't have insulted a guy's goat. Now, they can't win a World Series until they leave Wrigley Field. If they change the name in the proposed separation of Wrigley Field and Cubs deal, then does it count? You don't think this makes a difference? See Bartman and the meltdown thereafter.

2. The NL Central
There's almost no doubt the Cubs will win the division. Yet, the Cardinals are without Pujols and still hanging in there. Anyway, only two division winners in the the past six seasons (3 of last 8) have made it to the World Series to begin with. Maybe they should lose the division.

3. The Nontrades
While I agree with everything GW says about DeRosa, I wouldn't congratulate myself on keeping Jason Marquis. Marquis, after pitching a combined 48-31 in the first half, is 25-33 in the second half in his career. Remind me, but aren't the playoffs closer to the second half than the first?

4. The True Rookie
Apparently, GW doesn't think Fukudome counts as a rookie either. Geovany Soto has been outstanding this season, but how many rookie catchers have won the World Series in the past 105 years? Four. At least those are better odds than the Cubs winning the World Series.

5. Big Z
Well, he's hurt and no one knows for how long. That's not good for your ace. Anyway, his stats in the playoffs? How about 0-1 with a 4.37 ERA and 5 HR in 22.2 IP. Ouch. In the playoffs, a team needs an ace to be dominant to win. I'll take Josh Beckett and the Red Sox in 6.

6. The All-Star Game
The NL hasn't won in 11 years, and there's no reason to think they'll win this year, especially because everyone is so convinced that the AL is much better than the NL. If the NL doesn't win, then the Cubs don't get home-field advantage. That means someone else has the advantage. Well, the guy did say the Cubs wouldn't win the World Series in Wrigley Field. Techinically, they could win it somewhere else I guess.

7. Cha-ching
GW says the Cubs have money to play with, but honestly, who doesn't? Most teams, especially those in contention, have the money to play with. Some of them, namely the Red Sox, Rays, and Angels, have better farm systems to deal from. If I'm dealing Teixeira or Sabathia, I'm going to those other teams first.

8. Sweet Lou
For all the talk about how good of a manager he is, he has only won one World Series. Terry Francona has more. Mike Scioscia has as many. Bobby Cox has as many. La Russa has more. Lots of competition to get through with guys as good or better than him.

9. Playoff (S)Lumber
Derrek Lee is .226/.286/.298 in the playoffs. Aramis Ramirez is .196/.308/.464 in the playoffs. Alfonso Soriano is .225/.279/.319 in the playoffs. That's your fire power not firing too well.

10. The Red Sox
They're a whole .003 percentage points behind the Cubs for the MLB-leading record. If we're talking about the World Series and who's best, then we have to talk about the two best teams. Both teams have equal chances to get to the World Series, so don't say how do you know the Red Sox will make it because the Cubs may not make it either. Honestly, I'll take Beckett over Zambrano, Matsuzaka over Lilly, Lester over Dempster, and anyone over Marquis. Also, Big Papi and Ramirez are better in the playoffs than the above three (.317/.418/.587 ;.269/.373/.513). In this section, I'm assuming Zambrano and Ortiz are fully healthy.

11. 100 Years
Everything seems to be in perfect harmony for this. Exactly 100 years after the last World Series championship. The best team in the MLB. A lot of money spent on stars. Everything seems to be shaping up for them to win it, but somehow, I have this feeling that they'll fail for the exact reason that everything feels so perfect for them. Why do I get this feeling that the baseball gods are just bringing them up to let them fall really far and really hard as part of some cosmic joke?