
I have no idea why, but this picture of Mischa Barton was the first point that appeared on Google Images when I typed in "low point".
The longest losing streak in MLB history? 24 games by the Cleveland Spiders in 1899
Since 1950? The Philadelphia Phillies lost 23 in a row in 1961
My birth year? 21 straight by the Baltimore Orioles in 1988
Last decade? The Royals lost 19 straight in 2005
2008? The Royals (sorry Ron) who lost 12 straight from May 19th through May 30th
Those are all really impressive, but I don't think any of them match the futility of the Lions. You just expect them to lose every time out. Think about it. How many games are we sure that an MLB team is going to lose? Jon Garland could pitch against CC Sabathia, and I could believe that Garland could win. Now, look at the Lions. I can say with 100% certainty that they are going to lose (if anyone can think up a good bet before the game, I'll consider it) on Sunday. It isn't even a doubt. I know they are going to lose. I have no inside information, no true special knowledge about football, no psychic connection, and no money covertly placed in Rod Marinelli's pocket that tells me the Lions will lose for sure. I, however, have this unflinching feeling in my gut that the Lions will lose on Sunday. To tell you how bad that is, I never feel this way. I sit the middle of the fence on a lot of things, mainly because I know that the world isn't black and white and that the grey area probably is the largest part (even now I use qualifying statements), but not this time. I have no doubts that the Detroit Lions will lose to ... (checking) ... the Green Bay Packers at Lambeau Field on Sunday. I didn't even know who they were playing, and I still know that they'll lose. They could play the Kansas City Chiefs, and I'd know the Lions would lose. That would never happen for a team in baseball, unless ...
Let's say that a baseball team lost for 17 straight weeks. Let's then say that a team plays approximately 6.5 games per week. That would equal 110.5 games (17 x 6.5). So in baseball, would it take 110 games to have the same certainty about a baseball team? Or would it not take that long? 20, then? 30? 50?
Just off the top of my head, I don't know if there's that bad of a team in baseball for next season. Hmmm ...
Nationals -> Maybe, but they still have some promising young players (Zimmerman, Dukes, Milledge, Flores, Lannan).
Pirates -> They won't have much of an offense, but a rotation of Duke, Snell, Maholm, and Gorzelanny isn't that bad.
Padres -> If they traded Peavy and Gonzalez ... but they still have Kouzmanoff, Headley, and Young.
Royals -> Nah. They aren't that bad even if they're GM is trying to make it that way.
Mariners -> Felix kind of ends that discussion, but then again, will they score any runs?
It's just really hard to be Detroit Lions bad. Will an adjective come out of this the way Benedict Arnold arrived after the Revolutionary War? What would you call it (I leave this up to you because I simply can't think of a good one -- an Orlovsky?, just to get you started)?
What do you think? How many games would it take to get to the center of the tootsie pop? How many games would it take for an MLB team to hit rock bottom like the Detroit Lions are inevitably going to do Sunday? I hope it's on because it will make history, and my day.
